A personal account of obsession, harassment, and mental health struggles, centered around a young woman and the impact on the author's life.
Extract
[...] Total depression, I feel that I'm not made for this and that I deserve more. I feel guilty, I compare myself to others and I'm angry with them for their fulfillment, their zest for life, their enthusiasm. I'm just depressed . I'm withdrawing into myself and I don't recognize myself . To start, I'm not sure if this topic is in the right category Here's my problem: I am a 31-year-old man, I live in a studio, and I work I have a very chaotic schedule I can't tell you everything, that would be too long. [...]
[...] My father, fast asleep, had just received a message from a woman, containing expressions of love and affection. We decided to call the woman who hung up just after hearing my mother's voice, in the same night, another message arrived, my father woke up and that was the catastrophe My father was consoling my mother, he was asking her to forgive him Already, Before years, I read messages on my father's phone, and they were from a woman with whom he had a relationship, why Now he denies it? [...]
[...] Being at that time in search of my personality, I was attracted to individuals from the Gothic culture Don't certain follow in parallel a pagan movement called wicca It was then that I came across this young woman from the Paris region A young woman who claimed to know me for ages and who said she was a medium This young woman follows this pagan movement the wicca This young woman was telling me what I wanted to hear From thread to needle we have drawn closer And she ended up living with me in my studio. This girl was obviously totally unbalanced. The first month passed very well Then she started having visual hallucinations. [...]
[...] My youth, I didn't take advantage of it at all, I didn't do anything remarkable or memorable. I'm following the course of life without being able to impose myself, without being able to make the right choices. The problem with all this is that I don't know what I really want My entourage says I have strength of character but deep down I don't feel it, I feel a weakness that kills me and eats away at me and yet everyone says the opposite I've never known love, (once or twice but it was false and profitable love, there was no sincerity towards me) disappointed every time I meet someone. [...]
[...] With your car that you never leave and with which you go on endless drives to feel free and chase boredom. Actually, I expressed myself poorly. When I say that I discuss with these young women from the Pas-de-Calais through the internet, I should have specified My ex-girlfriend from Paris started on the internet, then we met and she ended up moving in with me in Bordeaux If I were you, I would change the location if possible and the photos That doesn't mean it was the real face . [...]
